As a stay-at-home mom, the dilemma of whether or not to go back to
work surfaces regularly. Do I return to work for selfish reasons i.e. because I
want to interact with adults? Do I return to feel valued and important, that I am contributing
to something more than poopie diapers; to
maintain my sanity? Or do I get over it and deal with "mommy days"
like every parent before me?
The truth of the matter is many stay-at-home parents struggle with
this dilemma, and for every parent, coping is different. I tell myself, “Leslie.
Get over it. You’re fortunate to have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom,
when so many others are forced to go back to work.” So why am I complaining?
I’ve gotten to know many that deal with this
struggle. I read articles and talk first-hand with parents about the
difficulties of being a new parent and staying at home all day. Your world
changes, and for those who currently or previously (me included) had the notion
that stay-at-home parents have it easy, that’s a lie! The first few months can
be a piece of cake, since your baby sleeps 16 or more hours a day, doesn’t
talk, and is merely an observer. Over the months, as their disposition matures
and your child grows into a little person, your patience is tested, over, and
over, and over again. You receive the child death stares and tantrums are
thrown. You question if they understand what they’re doing, or better yet, do
they understand that their behavior is not okay?! You can’t really punish them
yet because they’re too young. Or can I?!! Then you wonder how long this stage of development lasts! The
reality is that all of the little quirks and “issues” parents deal with at this
stage and those to come, are what make us strong, and build the bonds known as
family. Some day we look back and recount to others the horror we experienced,
which in fact wasn’t as bad as we thought. As my daughter grows and learns each
and every day, I’m finding new ways to work
at being a better parent as opposed to focusing on if I should go back to work.
I realize that the boredom and stress of being a stay at home
parent is mostly a pity party I throw myself. Rather than focusing on whether
or not to go back to work, I’ve chosen to work on myself. Many of the reasons
children get on our nerves is because they want attention. And while we can’t
always give 100% of our undivided attention and frankly, there are times we
just want to be left alone, the method that is working for me is 10 minute play
breaks. Put together a list of activities your child loves, and engage with
them a few times throughout the day, for 10 minutes or more, television and
computer off, and put the cellphone away. Give your undivided attention. The joy
that comes from just a few minutes a day is priceless, as is the peace of mind
it supplies for a big chunk of your day.
To the stay at home parents that are bored, overwhelmed, and as a
result, considering a return to the workforce: Why go back to work when there’s
so much work to do on you? I challenge you to create a list of things your
child loves to play, and set aside opportunities to bond. Or if you feel
yourself getting overwhelmed throughout the day, go to your list and play. Why
work, when you can play?!
- Leslie Osmond
Here are a few helpful links to
engage with your kids and also promotes responsibility and healthy living.
Lovely post ! ... The cost of childcare made the decision for me, It'll be much easier to work around full time school hours haha :) ... looking forward to the next read xx
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