Reasons My Husband Is My Best Friend

Rarely do my husband and I argue, but when we do, it’s typically over something minor like a difference of opinion regarding controversial topics on television, or some previous miscommunication. After becoming emotional and overwhelmed the other day, I took my anger out on him, venting the frustration of sheer boredom with household tasks coupled with my joy of counting down his daily arrival from work. As I sobbed and he embraced me, I realized that we are in fact one; he is my one true friend. This may sound bizarre considering I was upset, but at the root of my emotion and being a new parent, despite having friends and people to call on for lunch, or play-dates, etc., I feel alone. As we sat down, we came to the realization that no one truly understands how parenthood changes the dynamic of outside friendships, once children are introduced into the mix. Other parents get it, but really, the only people that can relate to you, is your partner, because he or she is the one there as you cope.

It’s impossible for us to know what kind of parent and spouse we will become, until it happens. And parenthood can alter the way we are as spouses. I can wholeheartedly say that my husband Chris and I were close prior to the birth of our daughter, but since becoming parents, we are closer than ever. While neither of us are perfect parents, we’ve gained a greater sense of appreciation for each other’s role, and understand why first and foremost, we are such great friends.

1.      We praise each other. While we may not know 100%, what work the other does throughout the day, we know that each of us works very hard. Hard work should never go unnoticed. Saying thank you, good job, and or showing appreciation goes a long way. Also, as roles throughout society have reversed, changed, etc., acknowledging one’s contribution provides encouragement, boosts one’s self-esteem, and inspires our partners to do better. I once read books called Wild at Heart and Captivating by John & Stacy Eldredge. These books are interesting reads, as they break down the makeup of man and woman, their roles, and why at such a young age, women are revered as princesses waiting to be rescued by men, who are esteemed as the brave and handsome prince. Needless to say, these traits continue to be seen within society today, and should be fostered by couples. The goal in nurturing the makeup of each other is that it captures the very essence of our heart's desires. Women need to feel beautiful, wanted, taken care of, etc. Men want to be taken care of as well, but they also want to be the strong and courageous provider that people look to as the knight in shining armor. Too often couples see and focus on each other’s struggles. I challenge you today to avoid thinking about the struggles, and thank your special someone for their contribution “I know I haven’t told you lately, but I really appreciate you taking care of our family.” Or “You’re an amazing mom/dad.” Your words of encouragement will go a long way.

2.      We embrace and joke about each other’s flaws. We all have areas of improvement. When it comes to raising children, we could all use a few lessons, but everyone parents differently. Moms, if dad tries helping, try not to correct how he’s doing what he’s doing and vice versa. Be glad for the helping hand, and laugh with and not at each other about flaws. Allow your partner to help and don’t complain if they’re doing it wrong, because next time they won’t do it at all! I think to myself and laugh about Kevin Hart’s comedy show when he described what I’ve heard many men say about babysitting their children. “I don’t like watching my kids by myself. It’s too much pressure! No man does…I can tell you how every man in this room babysits their kids. We sit on the couch and just listen to make sure sh** doesn’t happen!”

As a mom, I found this hilarious, yet see its validity. I’ve spoken with countless moms who are at home all day with an overzealous baby, hubby arrives and sees the exhaustion all over your face, only to tell you to relax. You take a time-out and leave him with baby for ten minutes, only to find him overwhelmed by the time you get back! Why not hit him with the sarcasm?! BUT, next time you take a few minutes for yourself, make a conscious effort not to correct the other’s ability to be a parent. I assure you that your child will survive the short time the other watches them, regardless of how “wrong” you think they’re doing it! Appreciate each others’ efforts, and your contribution to this game we call life.

3.      Date. I cannot stress enough how many couples no longer spend quality time together, or don’t want to spend time with each other. If you don’t want to spend time with your significant other, then you’re in an unhealthy relationship and may as well call it quits. I understand that children, other commitments, and careers can get in the way. And it’s okay and healthy to spend time apart and with friends, and want the occasional alone time. However, not making time for each other creates a rift that over time gets bigger and bigger, and children see it. You want to foster a healthy environment for your children, and the reality is, what couple (happy or unhappy) wants to fight or basically live as roommates? Date nights, snuggling, sex, wine, food, and all of the joys of courtship brought you to this place of being a couple, and now parenthood. Regardless of your work schedule, how tired you are, etc., take the occasional time to listen to each other’s wants, compromise, and have date night. Dates don’t have to be expensive, especially with kids in the equation. It’s the thought. In my opinion, there’s nothing sexier than my husband telling me on the weekend that he’s on baby duty and I can sleep in, waking up, and he’s made breakfast. Take notes men, because that will go a LONG way! Women, most of us love flowers. But have you ever or when was the last time you sent flowers to your guy?! We all enjoy the little things. I challenge you today to consider the details within this blog.

Thanks again for reading, and please consider the ways you can make your significant other your best friend.

-Ozzy Mommy

Parents, share your stories – the joy and trials, and everything in between. I love hearing about the everyday outtakes from moms and dads. Send a message toozzy@ozzybaby.com.