One of the first and only things newborns do after
entering this world aside from eat and sleep, is poop. They don’t have to give
a crap about anything else! And as new parents adjust to the sounds, sights,
and stench that come out of something so cute and tiny, over the next few
months, there’s a lot of shifting that takes place.
As the transition from breastmilk to formula to
solid food occurs, parents observe everything from milky colored liquid poo, to
green chili-like and yellow mustard crap, to rabbit pellets. The shock and
horror parents feel after seeing a diaper explode like a space craft blast off,
is enough to throw in the towel. Parents try to avoid gagging as we are knocked
back by the stink, and their cute smiling and carefree faces sit there nonchalantly,
giggling in amusement. We rush to change the diaper before little fingers are
covered in poo, and God forbid the fingers touch their face. Needless to say, after all is said and done,
the stories we reflect on are priceless.
The joys of parenthood certainly outweigh the hitches, and after reading
– and laughing to no avail – some of the diaper changing mishaps shared with me,
reaffirm my delight in parenthood. The following are some of my favorites. Enjoy.
“Last year for Mother’s Day, we were visiting my
in-laws. After arriving at their home, I realized that I only had one diaper
left for my 9 month old, and didn’t want to say anything because who wants to be
judged? Lucky for me, I had a bunch of maxi pads that I was able to put into
his diaper, changing them out as they were soiled. Needless to say, we left
that evening and I still had an extra diaper to use!”
-Resourceful Mom
“My 2 year old daughter loves raisins and I buy the mini
Sun-Maid boxes so she stays busy, pulling each raisin out of the box, one-by-one.
The other day my daughter was trying to get me to look at a raisin she was
holding. As I was trying to do the laundry, I barely looked and simply said, “Yes
honey. Eat it.” She continued to babble,
insisting I look at it. After a few minutes of persistence, I finally went over
to inspect what was so special about this raisin. Turns out, a tiny turd fell
out of her diaper! Thank God SHE was smart enough not to eat it even after I
told her to!”
-Sylvia
“So my husband and I decided to hire a photographer
for newborn photos. As my husband is holding the naked baby face down on his
arm, junior has a poop explosion like a jet engine all over the front of my
husband’s shirt. We had to reschedule the session given my husband didn’t bring
another shirt! It was hilarious!”
-Kira
“Every parent has been disgusted to find the
NASTIEST dirty diaper ever. Last night, instead
of feeding our son a nice balanced diet, I found out that my husband fed him an
entire can of mandarin oranges and some fruit cocktail. I have nothing against fruit,
but given the massive blowout “I” had to change, why would he do that?! When I
asked him WHY he fed him the canned fruit, he was like, “He loves them….” well
no $hi*!”
-Jennifer
If you have anything to share, please feel free to email ozzy@ozzybaby.com, or visit our website ozzybaby.com
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