Just Saying No!

So my 16 month old's vocabulary continues to grow day-to-day. She's in that phase where she understands the meaning of words and comprehends instruction, but I was not prepared for the "no" phase of her talking. There are instances that are hilarious, but some of her new found defiance is driving me nuts!!! Because of her limited vocabulary, this is one of the reasons her reaction to many questions is no. So I've found several ways to help deter a "no" response, and I thought I'd share some of them as follows:

1. Limit your use of the word no so that your child avoids hearing and using it. Responding with no after your child says no is counterproductive, but I understand it's difficult sometimes to react differently, especially when you're frustrated and just want your child to calm down or take a nap. Respond to your child's "No," with something like, "Maybe tomorrow," or "Let's not play with our food, let's eat it,"or "The couch/bed is used to sit down on nicely. We don't jump on it." Explaining to them the reason is a good way to engage them, as well as make them understand.
2. Offer choices. If food is the dispute, offer an alternative that s/he may like. If it's clothing, provide an option as well so the child feels empowered and has a way to vocalize an answer other than no. For example, "Should we have hamburgers or hot dogs?" "Should we wear the blue outfit or the red one?"
3. Teach other responses. For example, "How do you say yes? Can you say yes?" 
4. Redirect. Distraction and redirecting is my go-to method for just about every tantrum or negative response. Toddler attention span is so short, that there are times my daughter will cry and yell "No" about something, that I simply point to the sky and say, "Did you see that bird fly by (even though there wasn't one)?!" Or "Look at those beautiful lights on the ceiling." She immediately forgets why she was crying, looks at the sky and will usually make a birdy "tweet" sound, or she'll ooh and aah about the lights. 

And of course, sometimes as parents we just have to stand our ground. Despite all best efforts to negotiate and keep it cool, we can't always give choices or satisfy the mood of our little one. When that occurs, simply ignore and do not acknowledge bad behavior. After a while -- and it may take a long while -- they will readjust. Have a great rest of the week.

-OzzyMommy

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