In high school and college, it's typical to be friends with just about anyone. You call them to hang out, study, chat, etc. Nowadays, good friendships are hard to find, especially a quality mom friend. A girlfriend and I were reflecting on people we have or haven't kept in touch with over the years. We realize that our generation is full of flaky people. We ourselves are flaky. Let me explain. We've all promised a colleague that we'd get together, but never do. We all have had a longtime friend come to town, so we generically reach out to set up a lunch date that never happens. Or we message each other promising to visit or vacation, but life happens. And while we desire more face-to-face interaction with friends of our past, we understand that the the era of texting and emailing without response, is the bane of our generation's existence. Everyone is busy, and with little ones in tow, it makes finding quality mom friends even more difficult because you're seeking out all new friends, particularly when your longtime girlfriends aren't moms, which is my case.
Despite being acquainted with a vast number of people, I have primarily kept in touch with two to three girlfriends and never had a large circle. As I have gotten older, we change and spend less time in contact with past friends, especially between college, career, marriage and baby. Times change and friends change, so we make room for the next chapters. Social media makes it virtually impossible to lack communication. But once we graduate high school, we lose touch. And while social media forums are a great way to keep in contact and track what everyone's doing, it can also break relationships. Expressed conflicting political views, basic disagreements, as well as jealousy surrounding friends' transitions in life can lead to rifts. And while some relationships can pick up right where you leave off regardless of years apart, I can admit that I am not the best at keeping in touch, especially as I've gotten older.
So why is making mom friends so difficult? Having moved with my husband's career and newborn out of state, we have a lifestyle that should incorporate friends at the same stage in life as us. My husband and I've talked and laughed about our dilemma, because it appears not many parents seem interested in making friends -- at least with us! And while I've had this same discussion with other moms in the same boat, these same moms never hang out with us. So what gives? I have put myself out there in making connections and invitations for dinner and get-togethers; we seem to click at mommy meet-ups or initial gatherings whether they are work related or not; our kids love each other and don't want to part ways, but we never see each other again. And while we exchange emails, phone numbers -- the works -- promise to get together, and despite me initiating contact, we never meet again. Apparently I am a glutton for punishment because I haven't given up the effort. We've invited some of my husband's colleagues to a basketball game, and will keep our fingers crossed that everyone hits it off. In the meantime, I am searching for a life-long mommy-friend. Matter-of-fact, wanna come over for a play date?!
-Leslie Osmond
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