Grandparent Detox Needed!

It's safe to say that we're experiencing another episode of grandparent withdrawal.  After countless hours of Oma & Opa's undivided attention coupled with new toys, clothes, and what seems to be a never-ending supply of treats for simply breathing, I'd say this dangerous love requires detox!

As our daughter had to be pried from the neck of Oma as she got into the car to leave, I knew that the day along with the next week or so would be challenging. I'm convinced grandparents plot to win grandchildren over with marathon games and tea parties,  swimming pool fun for hours, parks, slides, swings and cookies and treats that guarantee loyalty and affection. Perhaps someone should write a ten step program for how to wean your child back into reality, following grandparent visits!

Although my daughter gets a great deal of attention when it's just our immediate family, I have other tasks that require completion throughout the day. And while my daughter thinks that the endless fussing, whining, and crying post grandparent visit will convince me to forget all other tasks while I focus every ounce of attention to her, she is sadly mistaken. Reality must set in again. I understand her sadness, but I will be firm in getting her back on schedule, which will take a few days, and in the meantime, we're plotting a baby drive-by next year. Nothing says pay-back like dropping off your two-year old with the grandparents while we vacation for about a week! Then again (and knowing my mom), our daughter would never want to come home!

-OzzyMommy

Please visit our website ozzybaby.com

Mine, mine, mine!!!

For the first time today, I experienced an all-out, kicking and screaming, everyone's staring at me like I'm crazy temper tantrum from my 19 month old. Eeek was it embarrassing and I wanted to crawl under a table and hide! Our munchkin fusses and throws occasional tantrums, but this was one of those "legitimate" tantrums where I normally stare at other people in the store and wonder what made the child go off the deep end. Now I'm officially that mom too!

Our daughter is inching toward the terrible twos, and with it comes the latest of her milestones, the "Mine, mine, mine" phase.  Initially we thought it cute, but as the sassing begins, the little evil glares you get along with the "No Mine" comments, and the occasional testing us to see how we'll react when she hits, is making us reevaluate how to curb this behavior. While we understand most of it's just a phase, we're noticing that the key deterrent is acknowledging our disappointment and verbalizing that "Not sharing makes mommy very sad" or "We don't hit or push" and physically making a sad face works best for us. I never considered myself the type of mom that would use tactics like that, but our daughter is so intuitive that she'll feed off of our frustration, and use it to fuel more bad behavior. As such, the corny time-outs I used to joke about and considered lame parenting actually work for us! Nothing makes our little one more upset than disappointing us, but realizing that it's okay to make mistakes -- both child and parent -- enables fixing those mistakes and giving the child the steps to correct bad behavior much easier. Needless to say, I think she'll think twice about her actions today. And thank goodness nap time!

-OzzyMommy

Please visit our website ozzybaby.com

Toddlers Too Young for Sports?

What age is too early for a child to play sports?

We've all heard the controversies surrounding kids specializing in activities at a young age and some parents' outrage that sports for children should be fun rather than competitive. While I agree that there are some parent-athlete fanatics that are extreme, when watching my daughter mimic dancers and athletes on television, or when she tries to participate with kids at the park, I had to ask myself is it really so bad?  

In my opinion, there's a fine line between your child wanting to participate, and parents forcing their child (many whose kids are visibly NOT athletes) to engage in activities that become work, for the child. When chatting among adults, more and more are buying into the idea that the more sports activities their child is enrolled, the greater their chances at exposure and a scholarship for college, better yet, a professional career. While this drive for an advantage in later years to avoid paying outrageous college tuition rates is understandable, early involvement does not guarantee a competitive edge. The idea that if you get your kids' name out early enough, then the battle for scarce varsity spots is no competition. As a former athlete, I value the winner-takes-all mentality, but not at the expense of the child. When children are involved in activities too early because the parents forced or insisted they participate, rather than it being the child's joy and desire, that's when many children burn out or worse, they can themselves right before or at the peak of their careers. Furthermore, it doesn't guarantee future athletic success. Do I think children should be allowed to participate in sports early? Yes. But only if the child shows signs of interest. When you're forcing attendance, or they're no longer having fun, or you're having to hold them back a year for the competitive edge, that activity is probably not for them. Physical education and activities are a great thing, just make sure that at an early age, your child enjoys it.

-OzzyMommy

Things Just Got Real

The realization that grandma and grandpa had to go back  home, and your child thinks the 24/7 undivided attention she received, is going to continue. HELP!!!

As a stay-at-home mom, I'm at home with my daughter 24/7, but obviously, there are other tasks around the house that require attention. So having my parents aka Oma and Opa in town, makes things much easier and manageable. As our little one is showered with gifts, cuddled, and her every peep answered, she enjoyed a week of fun in the sun swimming at all hours of the day, she "cooked" for us, sang songs non-stop, and the list goes on. As I got home from running errands the other day, the smirk on her pizza covered face was hilarious, as she exclaimed, "Momma. Pizza! Pizza! (in her best Little Caesars commercial voice)." She was in heaven and loved every moment of it.

Needless to say, we are back to reality. It was heart-breaking that I had to pry her little fingers from the clutches of Oma, as she cried endless crocodile tears when realizing the grandparents were leaving. It was so sad, but I think after their departure just three hours ago, I miss them just as much. My little terror -- I mean angel of a daughter -- is certainly a handful today.  The key is standing your ground in order to get kids back on schedule, in an effort to retrain them to entertain themselves during the times parents complete chores, and also for our sanity. She's a great little girl, but she definitely knows how to work us all. Fortunately, we won't have to entertain next time, and will have the opportunity to visit Oma & Opa in September. Whew!

-OzzyMommy

Only Child: Spoiled, Selfish and Lonely?

"Call me selfish but, as the mother of one child, I enjoy more time, energy and resources than I would if I had more children. And it is hard to imagine that this isn't better for my family as well as for me," writes Lauren Sandler, author of One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child and the Joy of Being One. I could not agree more. And while I am not an only child, why should I feel guilty for wanting an only child? I'm proud to say that my daughter has plenty interaction with other children, so I am not concerned about her being lonely, not-to-mention, she gets an enormous amount of undivided attention that children with siblings crave. And despite the societal pressures to have more than one child, today's parents are waiting longer and having fewer children, and one out of five families has an only child. Given the figures, I'd have to argue that only children aren't so bad, and there are many studies to prove it.

As my husband and I were thinking about our friends and how many of those are only children, it's interesting to see that most of our well to-do friends are in fact, only children from excellent backgrounds. Their parents were career-driven and college-educated, and their child has excelled in career as well. So the contention that only children are lonely, spoiled, and selfish is rather interesting, and while I've heard from some that they wished they had a sibling, those very same kids indicated that it was great not having the competitive clash many siblings experience. The notion that only children are selfish and spoiled is also interesting, because while others may hold that opinion of only children, studies indicate they're no more self-involved than many other children, and only children tend to have higher self-esteem, demonstrate higher intelligence and achievements (both personally and career) because parents devote more attention, time and money to them. What is more, my husband and I began to notice that among his wealthy clients, those with the most money have one kid; none of the millionaires have more than two children, but the uber wealthy have one child. Now I'm not saying there's a science behind this, but it's an interesting trend we've noticed, and we figure if we're going to get on their level, maybe our rationale of being selfish one child parents, isn't so bad!

So to address the negative assumptions and the conversations I've had with moms around the neighborhood and at play-dates, yes, my husband and I are being selfish, for all of the above reasons. Call us terrible parents, but if you ask me, "Why wouldn't you want to have another baby? Why deprive Layla of a sibling she can grow up with?" It's because we love our current lifestyle, and we're being smart and realistic about what we want for our future, and our future is different than what other parents want in theirs. In a time when many adults can't support themselves on their income, let alone a significant other, bringing a child or two or more into the world is ludicrous, especially if it's just because the general population insists. But even with the financial means, my husband and I made the conscious choice (at least for now) to have one child. Is it because we're selfish? Yes. Is it because we believe you only live once, we love date nights, travelling, dining out, and there's so much more we want to do, see, and enjoy as a family? Yes. Is it because the cost of raising one child to age 18 is approximately $305,000 according to the US Dept. of Agriculture, and that's not including college? You bet your ass! I'm not judging people for having more than one child, that's your prerogative. But to us, having an only child means freedom. Freedom to focus all of our attention at overflowing our only daughter with the utmost love, and having that love reciprocated. Seeing that twinkle in her eye knowing she's the most important little person to us, and she feels the same about us. The freedom to give her everything her heart desires, and our freedom to share in those experiences with her, unrestricted. I once heard that parents have the first child for themselves; the second child is for the first. I choose not to have a second child to fulfill breeding assignments. I rather live happily ever after with my husband and only child: spoiled, selfish and lonely!

-OzzyMommy

Visit our website ozzybaby.com.

Parent's Day Out

When I asked my husband to take off a little early this Friday for a parent day out and to "test out" daycare for our daughter, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that he took a half-day instead of a couple hours. On the agenda: lunch, exploring our new city and neighborhood, the casino and a movie.

I was ecstatic this morning, as I explained to little Layla that she was going to "school" today. But as we arrived at the daycare center, I was overwhelmed with nervousness and sadness. I don't know how I can go from sheer joy at the thought of freedom for a day, to having separation anxiety before entering the building! The facility instilled a great deal of trust when we toured, and the staff was exceptional, all credentialed and knowledgeable. I've heard stories of moms being more traumatized than the kid going to daycare, so as I went over the laundry list of things I felt the care providers needed to know (as if they don't know these things already), and told them to call me at any point, I pried Layla away from me kicking and screaming and told her goodbye. As I swallow the lump in my throat to avoid crying, the executive director followed me out to reassure that everything will be fine, and it's normal for first-timers to have this feeling. She advised I can call as many times as I want to check in, and to come by if I feel like it. After a few minutes of chatting, the admin staff member that initially took Layla and I back to the room, came to the front desk to advise that Layla was fine seconds after I left, and she's happily playing with a baby doll in a mini kitchen. At that moment I knew Layla was in good hands.

As I drove home a bit more relieved, I thought to myself, "What am I going to do all morning before Chris gets off work?" Well, I went for a 1.5 mile jog around the neighborhood and chatted with neighbors, and scoped a few garage sales. I took an uninterrupted shower, followed by a cup of coffee and breakfast on our deck that opens to the wooded area where you hear nothing but the light sounds of birds and nature...FREEDOM!!! I can get used to this.

-OzzyMommy

Kids Require Concessions, NOT at My Movie!

I can't stress enough the importance of having date night and some adult fun when raising children. It's necessary for your sanity and it gives you time to socialize with other adults, as well as miss your young ones. What I also cannot stress enough of, are parents that simply don't take into account the consideration of other adults that took the time to get a sitter, so that they can enjoy a tantrum free environment.

After a wonderful weekend, my husband and I were discussing that there should be a new set of parenting social rules plastered on a variety of public locales, warning parents not to impede on the adult time of others. You've heard me fuss about obnoxious crying kids at happy hour and romantic restaurants. Now hear me roar about my #1 pet peeve location: movie theaters. If the movie is not rated G or made for kids, don't bring your kid in my movie, because I promise you, they'll get the two cry rule, then I'm marching right down to management to have you and your kid(s) kicked out! If the movie is loud, scary and/or action packed where the sound nearly scares the kid half to death, that's not healthy. Not only that, if your kid cries more than once, odds are, everyone in the theater is thinking, "Get that kid out of here." Lord knows when we watched you walk in with the baby carrier we're dreading it and judging already.  I get it. You want to see the movie. Then either wait for it to come out on Redbox or hire a sitter, because if you're sitting in my theater and your kid cries more than once, I repeat, I'm having management kick you out! You have to make concessions when you have kids, just not in my movie!

-OzzyMommy