Child Bribery

I'm not above bribing my child to get her to do something, especially if I don't have the energy or desire to fight a toddler on that particular day. I understand the mixed reviews about whether or not bribing a child is good, but all parents have or will at some point and time, do it. "If you clean your room, you'll get a treat" - or something like, "Here, you can play with my iPhone; I need to talk to daddy."

I use the term bribery loosely, and consider it more a reward and the art of negotiation. There are pros and cons to it. Rewards aka bribery can be used to encourage good behavior, as long as the reward is not used to stop bad behavior. If property used, both you and your child will reap its benefits. The distinction between "bad bribery" or rewarding bad behavior, is when a parent gives into the child while under duress. We've all been there. You're right in the middle of a tense situation. Your child is kicking and screaming, making a scene, so you promise them something you would never offer, except now you want them quiet. This form of bribery or negotiation gives power to the child. My daughter is no angel, and we've had our share of tantrums in public, but I've learned that if I promise her a treat or reward before the anticipated bad behavior, she's likelier to behave well. For instance, we traveled to Colorado this past week. I explained that we were going on an airplane where people have to sit and be nice, and only used inside voices, and no crying is allowed. I told her if she could do this, she would get a treat, along with seeing the grandparents. That incentive was enough for a great flight.

I believe the key to good behavior is acknowledging and rewarding it, rather than being manipulated and extorted by children. While I understand that all children are different, and parenting styles differ, parents, be kind to yourself and take note of what your child is doing, how you're reinforcing and establishing the behavior, and realize that child bribery is okay!

-OzzyMommy